Growing Pains and Transcending Life
I recently watched the movie, If Not Now, When?… and it made me reflect on a lot recently. There’s no manual on how to do life… you just have to go along figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Sometimes, you make informed choices, sometimes you mess up. The first quarter has been full of learning and unlearning things, some of which I didn’t know were true of myself. It is a season of my life I’d declare having registered massive losses because I’ve lost people and things I considered of high value to myself…. and all from the onset of what I call, a growing pain.
I have always been the achiever. Heaven knows I was born ambitious. I fiercely take charge over my life, and fortunately or unfortunately, that has made me rub shoulders even with people I used to consider close the wrong way. I usually have my life planned out pretty much most of the time. A part of me somehow always knew that some experiences that society holds normal for women in their late 20s like me would be a delayed experience, and I’ve somehow learnt to be okay with that. I celebrated my birthday 2 days ago, and as I reflected on the many things I want to do by the time I’m atleast 28, here’s just a small portion of stuff I hope to have accomplished:
- Become CEO or President of an Organization
- Build a strong personal and authentic brand
- Run a successful blog
- Become a well renowned girl mentor and speaker
- Write a book
- Run a successful Youtube Channel
- Buy my own car (and not from loan money)
I am down to the last 3 items before my list is complete.
Q1 of this year was filled with lots of reflection and reevaluation. It was emotional, heavy, lots of crying, just to say the least. Losing people does something to me. It’s times like those where I question and ask God, was it really necessary to create humans as emotional beings? Of all emotions, I hate pain. Hurt, in my own opinion, makes humans numb, weak and vulnerable. And sometimes it hurts so bad you just wish we kind of like had a button where we could turn pain off. It also times like those I’m grateful to have such a platform because by writing, I liberate myself as I take others along with me.
However, as broken as I was, the beauty was… slowly finding myself. I’m finding time to do things I love more, exploring new ventures and opportunities, reconnecting with loved ones and most importantly, loving myself even harder. I’m taking time to laugh more, love more, listen more and appreciate more. And it’s beautiful because it’s a side of me I haven’t known to exist… I often find it very hard to get my mind to slow down.
I may never understand hurt, neither do I ever want to. I may never understand pain, but I’m grateful because anytime I experience it, I’m always sure God is about to do His thing! So if you find me winning, excuse me, I’m building an empire and the life of my dreams.
To my beautiful family – Dad, Mom, Stephanie and Charles…. thank you for offering me a shoulder to cry on unselfishly. You’re the reason I keep going.
Here’s to all of us… going through the most but still pushing through life anyway. You’re amazing. You’re bad ass. It doesn’t matter much whom or what you lose, as I’m coming to gradually accept, if people or things are meant to be in your life, they will be… regardless. You will get through that season, I promise you. And oh, how beautiful it will be!
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