Love and Marriage, or, Money and a Thriving Career?🤔
It’s about that time… Wanja graduated three years ago, and works a 9-5 at a well renowned firm in the city. She is the go-getter, head held high and puts her mind to milestones she wants to achieve. Despite the powerhouse she is, Wanja fears going home. Talks with mom are a bit tense, as she doesn’t seem to acknowledge the much Wanja achieves. All she wants to know is… when will Wanja bring a man home? In her head, Wanja busy ponders at the possibilities. She just started her career, does she really have to get married so soon? Is she ready for the responsibilities and challenges that come with marriage? Does she even want children? ….. Wanja’s heart is heavy. Torn by her options, and calculating the risks that come with each possibility. Will she eventually succumb to her mom’s pressure, or will she follow her own journey?
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Omolo is a diligent young man. He has it all… a great career, lives in a mansionette, drives an Audi and his life’s going well for him. He believes he can never tarmac in this life… he’s worked his fingers to the bone as a kid and to make it this far, his wrinkles tell the story of hardwork, grit and determination. He’s had his sights set on Wanja, who’s his best friend, for a loong time, and he’s ready to settle down. However, Wanja doesn’t seem to be remotely interested in settling down, and Omolo fears moving on as he fears losing the life he could have with Wanja should she change her mind. Still, time’s ticking for him, and he really wants to settle. He can’t see any other possibility aside from Wanja. Where will he even start? Omolo is in his early thirties.
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This is a reality so many women go through in society today. Can someone tell me where it’s written that a woman must be married at 25 years or before 30? And where is it written that a woman must, without fail, give birth in marriage? Why is it always, by default, suspected that if a couple doesn’t have children, it’s the fault of the woman? Why is so much pegged on the woman? Where is the voice of the woman in all this?
I recently worked as a social media manager for a bride/wedding firm here in Kenya, and part of the strategy involved having a segment every Wednesday whereby women would open up and share the issues they were going through, either as young brides or newly weds. Some of the issues women go through leading to marriage/in marriage are just heartbreaking…. from facing criticism from their in-laws, to the sarcasm they have to deal with, some even facing abuse in marriage. And all I know after all this, and from learning through the experience of others, is that whichever route you choose to take… you’ll have to deal with hardships.
On to the work place, it’s not uncommon to hear stories of men and women working in the same field, and with the same skillset, but the woman being offered half the amount the man is offered in terms of remuneration. Why does a woman have to work two times harder than her male counterparts to prove herself, yet she’s just as good? If you’ve watched the movie “What Men Want”, Taraji P perfectly plays the role of a winning woman in her career… but that also comes with drawbacks. In a male led society, a woman who shines will definitely turn heads her way. Taraji P has to fight tooth and nail, to get her career to where she wants it to be.
This being a personal blog, and being in my mid-twenties…. Here’s what I want to tell you dear young lady. Choose whatever makes you happy. Being single and building a career is hard. Being in a relationship/marriage is also hard work. Prayerfully choose your hard. Do not apologize for choosing the life that makes you happy at the expense of others. If you’re Wanja and you’re reading this, if Omolo was truly meant for you, he will wait for you. Chart your path. Follow your heart. And oh, ChatGPT agrees with me too!
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